This week, Mayor Bloomsburg announced that Pigs in a Blanket are banned from all future events in New York City. The proclamation arrives after last week’s fashion show disaster when Kim Kardashian tripped on her pet pig’s blanket and ripped it right down the middle revealing a little too much “bacon.” New Yorkers seem to be split on their opinions. Some took the news in stride. Says one citizen; “The Mayor should have done this long ago. I am glad I won’t have to see any more pigs strutting around in blankets two sizes too small. It’s disgusting!”
To others, the news comes as a shock. “It’s despicable how the government can be so prejudiced to one animal. You see celebrities carrying their little naked Chihuahuas everywhere they go but now you can’t bring a pig anywhere? What has the world come to?” While some have rallied together to protest the ban, it seems as if the fashionable reign of Pigs in a Blanket will be no more. Guests all over the city will have to bring their pork elsewhere. The Mayor made it clear that his decision would be overturned when pigs fly.
NOTE: This is part of Great Performances’ April Fools Newsletter. Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet!