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THINGS TO NOT SAY AT TURKEY DAY | Great Performances

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NOV
13
2015
THINGS TO NOT SAY AT TURKEY DAY
CPS Events At The Plaza
by KEEGAN SAKAI-KAWADA

Mr. Manners has a minion... Keegan gives us the scoop on hot spots for the dinner table and topics to avoid if you're looking for a rumble-free holiday of good food & great company.


TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY AT THE TURKEY DAY TABLE

1.  Is this stuffing gluten-free? Vegan? Dairy Free? Nut Free?

Seeing as stuffing is made up of mostly bread, I doubt it will be gluten-free. There are people in the world who suffer from celiac disease, and when they eat foods with gluten they encounter physical challenges. Everyone else is simply pushing the GF button!

2.  Kids nowadays, they’re always on their phones.

Yes, we get it. Millenials are terrible with their technology, instant messages, and 5-second attention spans. This has been the conversation of the century, it's time to retire this one and find a new topic.

3.  Who watched the Presidential debate last week?

Politics? Really? You’re just asking for the night to end on a bad note.

4.  How many glasses of wine have you had?

Leave that person alone. It’s Thanksgiving, it’s a long weekend, let people live! Within reason of course…

5.  It is freezing outside!

You’re with your family. Try and talk about something besides the weather. We get it, it’s November, and it’s cold. Next!

6.  Let’s go around the table and say what we’re thankful for this year.

Let's not, I think it’s implied. We’re thankful for our family, our friends, and our beautifully amazing lives together. Period.

7.  It's not Thanksgiving if you don’t have family drama!

Not true. There are some families in the world who live perfectly happy lives without the need for drama.

8.  You must be hungry!

You’re implying that this person is eating too much. No bueno. Let them feast, it’s Thanksgiving for goodness sake!  If only they came out with a bottomless plate!

9.  Could you pass the salt?

You’re basically saying that the food was not salted well to begin with. Ouch. Sorry chef.

10.  Do you wanna go to Soul Cycle with me tomorrow?

The day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, so people will either be: 1) Shopping or 2) Sleeping. The last thing someone wants to do on Black Friday is exercise.



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